How to propose: the step-by-step guide to getting engaged

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Evelyn Carpenter

Felipe Muñoz Photography

Although the attention and discussion often focuses on how to plan a marriage, the truth is that the previous step is just as important, especially for those who don't know how to make the proposal, let alone imagine how much an engagement ring costs.

And there are several items that you will have to overcome, from making the decision consciously, to sharing the news with your family and friends. Check this step by step and clarify all your doubts about the marriage proposal.

The 6 steps to engagement

1. How do you know if they are ready to get married?

2. The search for the engagement ring

3. How to make the commitment: organize the proposal

4. What should the proposal be like: the day of the proposal?

5. How to announce the engagement?

6. The engagement party

1. How do you know if they are ready to get married?

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Although the answer will depend exclusively on each couple, there are some clues that will help you discover what stage you are at in your relationship. It's not about how long you've been together, whether it's months or years, but rather about how sure they are that they want to take the leap .

Can you imagine waking up together every day for the rest of your lives? It is essential to know the other person, with their faults and virtues, and to love them as such without trying to change them. You should also consider whether you are financially independent or, at least, whether you have the means to build a new home together.

And there are other essential issues that should be addressed before the engagement is sealed, including whether they share values, priorities and life purposes; whether they agree on the concepts of fidelity and loyalty; whether or not they wish to have children; and whether they are tolerant on political or religious issues, in case they have opposing positions. Although love is the most important thing, it is not always enough. That is why it is key toto make all the cards transparent, and to face the commitment with maturity and seriousness.

2. The search for the engagement ring

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Once the previous step has been taken and the decision to get married is clear, then it is time to look for the engagement ring. In the past, it was the man who surprised the woman with the marriage proposal and a diamond ring. However, today it is possible that they choose the jewel together or even that they both have their own engagement ring.

Whatever the case may be, there are 4 infallible steps to not fail in your search The first thing is that you must define a budget, since you will find abysmal differences, from $200,000 rings to jewelry that exceeds 2 million. And it is that it influences not only the noble metal and precious or semi-precious stones with which it is made, but also the complexity of the design.

Then follows figuring out the person's tastes, either in secret or in direct conversation if a gold or silver ring is desired; solitaire or band; halo or tension-set; diamond or sapphire; modern or vintage-inspired, among other options.

At this point, in addition to aesthetics, it is important to consider the comfort for the person who will wear the jewel. The third step, once they are going to order the ring, is to deliver the correct size. The good thing is that there are apps that allow you to measure the exact size, so that the bride and groom do not complicate in this aspect.

And finally, before purchasing the engagement ring, you should make sure that it has a certificate of authenticity, a guarantee, ideally for life, and a maintenance service. It is essential that the jewelry store you go to guarantees one hundred percent quality.

3. How to make a commitment: organize the proposal

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It will be one of the most exciting moments! And you should do it alone or, perhaps, with the help of an accomplice. Ideas of marriage proposals there are many For example, if she's an outgoing person, she may love the idea of an engagement in a public place. But if she's more reserved, an intimate dinner at home may be the best option.

Other ways to surprise your partner is by asking them for their hand in the place where you met, through a game of clues, by hanging the ring on their pet's collar or through an original video, whether it is a flashmob with your mutual friends or a video stop motion Just make sure that the jewel will not be in danger in the place where it will be delivered, for example, in a gazebo, in an amusement park or aboard a boat. Also, so that everything goes perfectly, the ideal is not to improvise and, for example, if you will make the request in your favorite restaurant, try to make the reservation in advance.

Finally, choose a suitable day, perhaps a Friday or Saturday, so that you can continue to celebrate without a time limit. Or, if it's during the week, don't have it in the middle of exams, work evaluations or extra shifts.

4. How should you propose: the day of the proposal?

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With a clear idea of how to propose marriage and with the accomplices recruited, if there will be any, the only thing left to do is not to arouse suspicion on the big day. For the same reason, do not comment with anyone, unless it is strictly necessary. And don't leave records on your computer or cell phone.

Also, whatever the plan is, make sure in the hours before your trip that everything is in order, either by calling to reconfirm the reservation or by reminding your family that you will be contacted by videoconference at "x" time, so they can keep an eye out for you.

And if the surprise will be, for example, with a dinner at home, take the time to cook, choose appropriate music and decorate with candles and flowers, before the arrival of your sweetheart.

On the other hand, if you want to record the moment, hide a camera or, if it will be in a public place, coordinate with someone to be recording you at the exact moment. You will surely want to relive again and again that romantic and emotional moment.

However, if you don't want to be speechless because of nerves, the advice is to prepare a few lines including the magic phrase "Will you marry me? Especially if you are not good at improvising, then the best thing to do is to have in mind how you will express your declaration of love. And a colossal mistake: don't go to make the proposal without the ring. If you forgot it or didn't pick it up, run!for him!

5. How to announce the engagement?

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There are many possible ways to spread the good news, so we will only will depend on the style of each couple If they are attached to their families, for example, the traditional way would be to organize a dinner with their parents, grandparents and siblings.

Or, on the other hand, if they are regular users of social networks, they may prefer to announce the news through a photo on Instagram showing the ring, as some celebrities do. If they want the whole world to know at once, this will be a great idea. And it will also allow them, through the comments, to immortalize the different reactions and congratulations.

Another proposal is that they keep the secret, except perhaps for the most intimate ones, and reveal the engagement by sending the save the date However, you will need to have a definite date for the wedding and, most importantly, you will need to keep the future marriage in reserve.

But on the other hand, if you're the kind of person who makes excuses to celebrate, then this first celebration really deserves a celebration. At least with your best friends, who have surely been witnesses to a large part of your love story. Whichever way you choose, announcing your marriage will undoubtedly be one of the moments you'll enjoy the most.

6. The engagement party

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Although it is not an obligation and there is not a set of rules to carry it out, many brides and grooms decide to make the engagement official through a party with their family and friends. And although they are usually intimate events, based on a moderate budget, that does not imply that it can not be a party in style.

In fact, you can send out personalized digital invitations, decorate with some themed inspiration, go for a novel menu, and even, since the engagement party is protocol-free, why not play with the dress code For example, request that everyone attend with a red garment or detail in allusion to the color of love and passion.

There will be time for formalities at the wedding, so take advantage of this time to unleash your creativity. You can also prepare souvenirs and make sure the toasts and photos are not lacking.

And finally, if you want to add even more emotion, take the floor to ask the people you want to be your witnesses or godparents, if they agree to do that job. It will surely be a moment where more than one tear will flow. Since the engagement party will be the first step on your way to the altar, the idea is that you remember it as a joyful celebration full of joy and happiness.symbolism.

Although the proposals have been renewed over time, being the brides nowadays the main protagonists, the truth is that the step by step is still more or less the same. That is why this list will be very useful to execute that first impulse.

Evelyn Carpenter is the author of the best-selling book, All you need for your marriage. A Marriage guide. She has been married for over 25 years and has helped countless couples build successful marriages. Evelyn is a sought after speaker and relationship expert, and has been featured in various media outlets including Fox News, Huffington Post, and more.