10 topics to talk about as a couple

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Evelyn Carpenter

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In relationships, there are some things that can be worked out along the way, like household dynamics, but there are others that are harder to compromise on. And sometimes, it is or it isn't. Can you imagine what they are? If you want to take a step forward in your relationship, check out these top 10 topics to talk about as a couple before you get engaged.

    1. Life Goals

    They may be at different stages, for example, one studying and the other working, but they may have the same short and medium term goals. Or, on the contrary, they may be going through a similar process, but their goals are totally different, either in the personal or professional sphere. Are they capable of projecting a future together? Here an assertive and sincere couple communication They should check if there are things in common and if they are both looking in the same direction.

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    2. Children

    One of the deep topics to talk about as a couple is about whether or not to enlarge the family because, although in the past generation couples did not question it, bringing children into the world is an option. Therefore, another important point to elucidate is with regard to whether or not to have children, when to have them and how to raise them.

    If one wants to be a parent and the other doesn't, there won't be much more to talk about. However, if one wants to have children soon and the other in five years, you can always try to reach an agreement.

    3. Finance

    The economic issue is another one that you cannot avoid as a couple, and if you are thinking of getting married, you should also consider everything that this implies, that is, where you are going to live, how you are going to pay the bills, if you are able to save or if you are planning to look for a better job, among other issues; so, without a doubt, finances are a very important issue. one of the most interesting topics to talk about as a couple. .

    They should also make their debts and other money-related situations transparent, for example, if they help their parents or pay for a sibling's education. The clearer they are about the financial picture, the easier it will be for them to work together on a project.

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    Politics and religion

    Both tend to be conflicting issues, because here honest and respectful couple communication And a person with strong convictions or beliefs, both in politics and religion, will find it difficult to change their mind. Hence the importance of discussing these issues and especially if they have different positions, resolve how they are going to address it, for example, with their respective families or closest friends. If someone participates in a church or political party "x" byFor example, it is very likely that your inner circle also professes that religion or participates in that sector.

    5. Pillars of the relationship

    Although love is one of the main pillars of any relationship, it is not enough to keep it strong. Relationships are, like life, complex. Therefore, another point to clarify is what commitment means to each of you. What are the pillars that support your relationship? What are you willing to compromise and what are you not? What do you understand by fidelity? For theHow much weight does their sex life have for each other? These are some of the questions that should be asked, in the search to find out if they are compatible or if they are not. there are things in common as a couple .

    6. In-laws

    It may not affect them so directly, but it is important to know the role that the family of the person you love plays, especially in figuring out how involved that family will be in your relationship. Will it be a rule to visit them every weekend? Will they be given the power to interfere in your decisions?

    Before formalizing and embarking on the road to the altar, it is advisable that this is one of the most important topics to talk about with your partner If they don't deal with it well, the immediate family can become a continuous source of conflict.

    7. Day-to-day habits

    It is well known that people do not change because the partner wants them to, especially because no one should try to change the other. Therefore, the healthiest thing to do is to accept the loved one with his or her faults and virtues, including those habits that one might not like.

    If one person smokes and doesn't intend to quit, then the couple will have to decide whether or not they can deal with it. Of course, they can always talk about it and come to an agreement, such as making a commitment not to smoke indoors. Or, if the other person is obsessive about work, your partner should evaluate how much this rhythm of life affects them and talk about it together, beyond forcing aIn general, these are things that need to be discussed, but without the intention of imposing or demanding that the other person change. Rather, it is about adapt to different lifestyles .

    8. Outstanding issues

    There will always be, whether it's about family matters or unresolved past issues. It's not about invading each other's privacy either, but it is about being honest, which is the most appropriate thing to do. For example, if there is ongoing jealousy about an ex-partner, it is most likely a symptom that something is wrong in the relationship and the healthiest thing to do is talk about it before deciding to commit. Or, perhapsThey may not understand why their partner doesn't get along with their dad. The topic can be a sensitive and uncomfortable one to discuss, but even so, transparency in the couple's communication is a tool that will take you far in your relationship.

    9. The tone of the discussions

    Arguing is a normal part of a couple's relationship. However, the ways of handling it can be very different, hence the importance of establishing certain limits that cannot be crossed when facing an argument, such as falling into offenses or disqualifications and much less into aggression. Before committing yourself, therefore, it is essential that you have the court lined up in this aspect. Therespect above all.

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    10. Pets

    And finally, although it seems irrelevant, if one partner wants to have a pet and the other doesn't, there will be an obvious problem. Or, if one of you already has a pet and wants to take it with you to your new home, what will be the reaction of the other person? Not agreeing on this issue can lead to a never-ending argument. This is because pet owners consider them to be aThe children are a member of the family, which is how they also expect to be treated.

    Although some couples choose to let everything flow and address everything in its own time, the truth is that there are issues that cannot be overlooked, especially when they are about to take a step forward in their relationship... But not just any step, but one on the way to the altar and, therefore, one that requires understanding, future vision and maturity.

    Evelyn Carpenter is the author of the best-selling book, All you need for your marriage. A Marriage guide. She has been married for over 25 years and has helped countless couples build successful marriages. Evelyn is a sought after speaker and relationship expert, and has been featured in various media outlets including Fox News, Huffington Post, and more.