Living together before marriage: thinking about taking this big step?

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Evelyn Carpenter

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Getting married is an important step for many couples. However, even with marriage plans, some decide that it is best to live together first. The pandemic may even have forced a few couples to take this step sooner than they had imagined. For example, in the case of those who were going to move out as soon as they said "I do" but unfortunately had to postpone their wedding, they may have had to move back in with their spouse.celebration.

Whatever the case may be, the truth is that living together will mark a before and after in your relationship. Check out the following tips that will serve to guide you.

Why live together

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There are several reasons that could motivate them to live together and all of them are equally valid, although the most common can be summed up in two. On the one hand, there are the committed couples who decide to live together as a way of economizing Instead of both of you renting and paying for each other's utilities, paying a single rent will make it easier for you to pool your money together. And, in fact, if you plan to buy a home, this period of living together before marriage will allow you to save money for that purpose as well. Those are the couples who are sure they want toto get married.

However, there are others who do not yet feel ready to take the big step, so they opt for the option of living together. In fact, many consider this alternative to be the best, because living under the same roof allows them to get to know people more deeply. And, likewise, find out how compatible they are to take the next step Whatever your reason for living together, there are a few things you'll need to keep in mind to make the best of it.

It is a process

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Moving in with your partner changes your life 180° and, as such, will need some time to get used to Regardless of whether you previously lived with your parents, friends or alone, living together will alter your routines, your schedules, your spaces, everything! It will be a nice experience, but adjusting to this new way of life will take weeks or even months. And while you won't come with the excitement of newlyweds, it will definitely be an exciting process.

Requires organization

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To lay the foundations of a good coexistence, the first thing to do is to organize with your partner on several essential issues Between them, how they will handle the finances, whether they will share expenses by creating a common fund or whether they will each pay for certain items so as not to mix the money. They must resolve the financial issue as soon as possible.

And when it comes to household chores, it's essential that you organize yourselves and decide how you'll handle cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, and other day-to-day issues. Will you take turns? Will you each take on certain responsibilities? However you organize yourselves, the key is to achieve a balance and both become involved in issues that have to do with the household In the end, coexistence is a team effort. It's about compromise and reaching agreements in the best possible way.

Demand the best of both

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Communication, respect, tolerance and commitment are some of the concepts that you will need to reinforce once you decide to start living together.

  • Communication Be transparent and discerning when expressing yourself, don't ask the other person to guess and try not to go to sleep without first resolving an argument.
  • Respect It is essential that they continue to maintain their spaces of solitude and/or recreation independently of each other.
  • Tolerance to understand the couple in this new dynamic, and to learn to accept them with their defects and their different habits.
  • Commitment They are not married yet, but living together implies a step forward in their relationship. Therefore, if they are going to take it, let it be with seriousness and maturity.

Involves routine

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Routine doesn't have to be seen as a negative thing, though, will appear sooner or later in the coexistence of a couple. While the relationship behind closed doors waited for the weekend to see each other, which added anticipation to their encounters, now they will have to look for surprise in other ways.

For example, in details as simple as sending messages to each other's cell phones during work hours, or improvising a romantic dinner on the terrace, even if it's in the middle of the week. As in any relationship, both of you will need to to do their part to strengthen love and break the monotony of monotony And if it works for you, then you're ready to take the big step.

Starting the day with a good morning kiss or going to bed with an "I love you" will also help you strengthen your bond, both while living together and later when you decide to get married. At the end of the day, the most important things are those details that should never be forgotten.

Evelyn Carpenter is the author of the best-selling book, All you need for your marriage. A Marriage guide. She has been married for over 25 years and has helped countless couples build successful marriages. Evelyn is a sought after speaker and relationship expert, and has been featured in various media outlets including Fox News, Huffington Post, and more.